Your baby or toddler are pacifier obsessed and you are ready to wean them. But how do you do it that won’t traumatize them or make your job as a parent more difficult?
Most pediatricians and dentists recommend that children get rid of a pacifier by the age of 3, but if you are concerned, ask your personal medical professional for specific advice for your child. Getting rid of a pacifier is a big developmental milestone and is easier for some children more than others, but a lot of it depends on the parents and how they handle it. Children are resilient and will move on quickly, so if your child has a more difficult time saying goodbye, know it won’t last forever.
Both of my children were very dependent on their pacifier, and if I am being honest, so was I! This was their calming mechanism, their self regulator, and their comfort item that helped them stay quiet and calm throughout the day and sleep better at night. But when it was time, we made getting rid of the pacifier meaningful and playful and it made a tremendous difference in weening, and believe it or not, they moved on from the dependence of the pacifier much easier than I anticipated! Then they found other ways to be calm and regulated!
First, when you are getting close to wean, I recommend limiting the amount of time your child has their pacifier and how many pacifiers they have access to. For example, a few weeks before the BIG DAY, start limiting the pacifier in the car, at nap time, etc. Eventually, your goal is to only have the pacifier at night a week or so before saying goodbye for good. Also, limit having 10 pacifiers around the house and slowly eliminate down to 1-2 pacifiers for the big day to say goodbye to instead of a handful.
The best things you can do for your children are to prime them, be encouraging, and follow through.
Prime Your Child
The first thing you want to do is PRIME your child in advance. I personally do not recommend getting rid of pacifiers cold turkey, even though I know that has worked for some families. But once you say goodbye, move on quickly, and don’t look back! I suggest having your children be a part of the process instead of just taking a pacifier away without any prior knowledge. Plus if your child feels invested and empowered by the situation, they are more likely to accept the change and not protest as much. We started priming our children weeks in advance, saying something like “Once you turn 3 we are going to have to say bye bye to the pacifier.” And then we gave constant reminders, so they could mentally and emotionally process and prepare for the big change in their life! Pick a day on the calendar and have a visual for them to see the days being crossed off before the BIG DAY! And do not pick a day right before a big transition like the first or last day of school, a new sibling being born, a vacation, or a big move.
Encourage Your Child
Really encourage them in what a big deal it is for them to say goodbye to their pacifier. This is a BIG milestone for them, so really encourage them and praise them for their strength and courage! They are a BIG kid now, so play that up and make it feel special to them! Celebrate with some ice cream and let them know how proud you are of them to do this!
Follow Through with Your Child
Once you take the pacifier away, keep it away. Even if the first day or two are hard, it’s important you don’t allow a relapse! Be strong and firm and explain to them they the pacifiers are gone and comfort and support them through the emotional process by validating their feelings and not shaming them for being dependent on the pacifier. They are resilient and will get over it quickly if you follow through! Trust me!
And here are some creative and effective ways to help your child say goodbye to their pacifier without traumatizing them!
Build-A-Bear
When we told our daughter we were saying goodbye to her pacifier, we told her she could pick out ANY Build-A-Bear she wanted and we would put the pacifier inside so she could still keep it near her and snuggle it at night for comfort, but that it wouldn’t be in her mouth anymore. She loved the idea and picked out an Elsa bear for one and a Nemo fish for the other at least a week before her 3rd birthday. Then we went to the store and went through all of the ceremonial steps and made it uplifting and playful, and she loved the new stuffed animals so much, she was more excited to have a new teddy and fish than focusing that her two favorite pacifiers were inside. She did ask for a pacifier the first night, but then never asked for one again!
Balloon Ride
Have your child take their pacifiers on a balloon ride! Go to the store to pick out and buy a special ballon. Then tie the pacifier on the bottom and have your child say goodbye and let it go fly into the sky! I know some parents don’t like this idea because of the environment and not knowing where the balloon will land, but I always include it as an option since kids love it and its very effective!
Pacifier Fairy
Similar to the tooth fairy, the night of the BIG DAY, you can have your child write a note to the pacifier fairy and put it under their pillow along with the pacifier before bed. The next morning, they wake to the pacifier disappearing and instead find a note from the fairy and even possibly some other type of small trinket, money, or a special ticket for a trip to the park and ice cream shop!
Gift It Forward
Do you know any other babies within your family, among your friends, or in your neighborhood? Have your child “graduate” from their pacifier and give it to a younger sibling, friend, or other younger child of your choice. This gifting ritual should feel good to them because they are in the BIG kid role now and are helping other children.
Removal Ceremony
You can create a fun or sentimental ceremony for your child to help saying goodbye easier. You can bury the pacifiers in the backyard or have a cutting and throwing away in the trash ceremony. Either way, they can visually see the pacifier disappearing, which can be empowering for them to do it themselves so they really feel like they are part of the process. Take photos and say a few words and make it ceremonial and special. Then praise and celebrate!
I hope these ideas have helped! What other ways have you tried to say goodbye to a pacifier?
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