We are all currently living in our technology era, and whether we like it or not, technology is a part of our lives and we need to find the right balance of cell phone use for the modern student and modern education. As a parent, I can see both the benefits of having a cell phone at school (starting at a certain age) and the pitfalls of having access to this type of technology at our youth’s fingertips. It’s a lively and prominent debate I hear often with other parents all around the world. And now, The San Diego County Supervisor is trying to limit cell phone usage in schools in “an effort to help improve students’ mental health. As a child therapist, I don’t disagree.
This morning I was invited to FOX 5 San Diego Morning News to discuss this debate with anchor, Raoul Martinez, LIVE on the air. Below is a snapshot of my thoughts on the topic, what I said on the news, and an expansion of what I didn’t have time to say during the segment.
CELL PHONES ARE A TOOL FOR EDUCATION AND ENTERTAINMENT
Cell phones are a tool for education and entertainment. However, cell phone use has not only become an addiction for parents and kids, it’s also causing anxiety and depression if they perceive they are missing out on something or if they are exposed to inappropriate content or cyber bullying. Cell phones provide instant gratification and fast paced communication that’s at our fingertips. It’s an encyclopedia, a camera, and a way to connect quickly with those around us. Worse yet, cell phone use creates a dopamine release in our brains that can cause a chemical reaction similar to drugs, so it’s easy to have withdrawal symptoms when you detox from it. So each time a child get notified of a new text message or a new like on their social media post, they get a dopamine rush. So my first recommendation would be to turn off notifications to at lesson this part of the problem. There are social and entertainment benefits to using a cell phone, but due to its addictive nature, it’s difficult to control ourselves to set limits and boundaries.
SHOULD SCHOOLS ALLOW CELL PHONES ON CAMPUS?
I don’t think cell phones should be allowed in the classroom. Parents and schools/school districts have to enforce this, it shouldn’t be left up to the teacher to be the bad person. Parents are the ones buying the phone and paying for the service, so they are also responsible on what they are providing their children, setting the limits on what they take to school, if they have access to social media, etc. Kids can go 6 hours without taking a photo, checking texts, or looking for updates of social media. If there is an emergency, the school can call the parent or the parent can call the school. Kids can wait until between periods, lunchtime, or even after school to connect online. Cell phones should be left in a backpack, locker, or bin in the classroom until class is over. Teachers can, however, try to teach more outside or in a group project scenario where students have to communicate and interact face to face with each other. Kids will have no other choice but to have full conversations with other kids instead of texting them as they sit right next to them, while missing out on instruction, resulting in lower attention spans and lower grades. These children learn to communicate well on a screen but have trouble with communicating face to face and have anxiety around real life social interactions, which can be prevented with lower cell phone use.
HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH SCREEN TIME?
Screen time can lead to depression, behavioral issues, anxiety, hindered sleep, poor mood, and classroom performance issues. And unmonitored screen time can also lead to an increase in cyber bullying, porn, and traumatic content that is not age appropriate. If your child is up all night long on their phone, talking with friends or scrolling the internet exposing themselves to who knows what kind of content, and missing hours of needed sleep, that is a problem, and not only will their mood and behavior be altered, their lack of sleep could lead to physical illness, poor performance at school, and increased mental health issues. If your child can get off a screen and transition to a non-screen activity quickly and without protest, then that’s a good sign, if not, that’s a problem.
Pediatricians recommend the following guidelines for children’s screen time:
- Under 2 years old: Zero screen time, except for video chatting
- 2-5 years old: No more than one hour per day of co-viewing with a parent or sibling
- 5-17 years old: Generally no more than two hours per day, except for homework
But here’s the problem with the “except for homework” rule. Kids are getting iPads and Chromebooks provided by the school district as early as Pre-K. They do a lot of “work” on them during the day at school and then are expected to use them at home to do homework after school, which can easily take up that two hour recommendation.
ARE THERE DIFFERENT RULES FOR DIFFERENT AGES?
I think the sooner a parent can set a precedence around cell phone use in the home, the better. Set the expectation level as soon as possible and enforce it often. Boundaries and limits can be set around how much time is used per day or if it is used between certain hours, at the dinner table, after homework, etc. I also believe that parents need to follow the same rules as their kids. If a parent doesn’t want their child on their cell during dinner, then the parent shouldn’t be on their phone during that time either. Another great boundary to have in place is to not allow cell use during 10pm-7am.
If a parent wants to help their teen feel like they have special privileges the older they become, they can increase the time limits at home by 15 minutes at each birthday. Start low, so there is room to grow each year with age. This way the older siblings feel a little more special than their younger siblings, at least in the area of cell phone use.
HOW DO YOU MAKE TIME AWAY FROM THE PHONE NOT FEEL LIKE PUNISHMENT?
Normalize being off the phone and make it a part of your family’s culture. Put value on spending time off the phone and focusing on being outside and participating in other activities that do not require a phone. Instead of taking a phone away as a punishment, spin it into a positive by letting the child earn time for getting homework done, getting chores done, spending time outside, doing acts of kindness, etc. They can earn time minute for minute and if your child does 23 minutes of homework, chores, etc, they earn 23 minutes of screen time. Or you can arrange a flat rate and after A, B, C, and D are done, they get an automatic 30 minutes of screen time. This way, it’s in the child’s control on whether or not they earn screen time, or extra screen time, that day.
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