I was so excited to be invited back to FOX 5 San Diego again this morning to kick off the New Year! I was interviewed LIVE by Shally Zomorodi about How and Why It’s Important to Create and Cultivate Family Goals.
Since the segment was only five minutes long and there was a lot we didn’t get to talk about on the air, so I am going into more detail in this blog!
Why It’s Important to Set Goals
It’s important to set goals for you and your children. Setting (and achieving goals) helps teach responsibility, accountability, discipline, and good habits. Parents need to be the role model for their children and get them involved in the goal making process. And if a parent expects their child to floss everyday, then the parent also needs to floss in addition to their children! Walk the walk and talk the talk! Show your children how to make and achieve a goal and do it together! Set individual goals and also set family goals. Individual child-friendly goals can include daily movement, eating more vegetables, daily reading time, less screen time, etc. Family goals can include giving each other daily compliments, having no screen time during meals, planning an outing or fun day out together once a month, a weekly walk around the neighborhood, working together to accomplish chores, etc. I have found it helpful to create and separate daily goals, weekly goals, monthly goals, and yearly goals.
How to Set Yourself Up for Success
For the most success, use a both/and perspective. I did good enough today and I accept that. I can grow and work on more tomorrow. Give yourself grace and also motivate, inspire, and encourage yourself to do more!
Next, start small and set yourself up for success. If the goal is too big, too specific, or there are too many, it can become overwhelming and you may begin to resent them. Then if you don’t achieve them, you’ll feel defeated and may not want to try again. So, for example, say “I will spend 10 minutes a day reading” (working your way up to 30 minutes a day) vs I will spend 30 minutes reading or I will read 15 books this year or even I will read more books than I did last year.
Make the goal achievable and measurable but not too specific. (I will lose 30 pounds, instead I will incorporate movement in my daily habits or I will work on moving my body at least two days a week).
Make sure the goal is fluid and flexible. Make intentions and goals instead of rigid and firm expectations and decisions. For example, I will drink more water each week until I reach my goal. The goal is to make something a habit rather than a goal or succeed mentality. For a child, say “I will listen to my parents the first time in 50% of opportunities given each day)
Choose a word for the year or one for each month to focus on (wellness, nutrition, better sleep habits, etc)Avoid making goals too broad or overgeneralized. For example, you might say “I want to be more intentional” but what does that mean? What does that look like for you? Maybe it means you will spend less hours a week on your phone or will stop using your phone after 8pm each night. Be as specific as you can when starting with a loft goal like this. Another common goal is to “be more healthy” but break it down to make it more attainable. What does healthy look like? How often do you want to exercise? What does a healthy diet look like? Do you want to start incorporating more supplements and vitamins? Drink more water?
Avoid setting too many goals, especially for children, so they don’t get overwhelmed or forget. Maybe set up to 3 goals for the year or better yet, one goal for each month to work on (January = Work on brushing teeth, February = Work on cleaning my room and keep their room clean)
With kids, make it play-based. Make cleaning up, chores, and responsibility fun! Play freeze clean or challenge each other to hop on one foot while they complete a chore.
Track Your Progress
First, write your goals down. If they aren’t externalized, they may not happen. This is the first step in accountability. Next, make sure you track your goals visually so you have something tangible to review each week/month. Children respond so well to visuals, so to track your goals effectively, print out a calendar or create a chart, and put it up on the fridge so it’s a constant reminder. Each day that you meet your goal, write in an X or check mark, or even put a sticker on that day. This way, your goals are easily tracked. You may be achieving them more than you think. And if your children reach at least 50% progress for the week/month on their goal/s, provide a reward whether it’s a date at the park, going out for ice cream, getting more screen time, or getting to stay up later than usual before bed. Lastly, make sure to praise yourself when you are positively moving toward your goal and or when you reach a goal. Children, especially, need positive feedback and reinforcement, so they know what behaviors to repeat.
Find an Accountability Partner
It takes a village and it’s difficult to accomplish anything alone. Plus, having support only helps you when it comes to obtaining your goals. So once you set your goals, ask your spouse, a co-worker, a friend, or even a neighbor to help motivate and inspire you to keep on track. When you fall behind, they will also be there to challenge you, too. People get sick, go on vacation, and have other life happenings come up from time to time, and it’s easy to get out of daily habits, so having an accountability partner helps get you back on the horse when you fall off. You will be doing the same for your partner, and it will feel good to positively encourage them, too! And if you are a parent, be your child’s accountability partner! Yes, it’s one more thing on your list as a parent, but this exercise instills character and values, so it’s beneficial to them, and you!
Check In Regularly
I recommend checking in as a family about once a month to discuss goal progression. Modify your goals if needed. For example, if you are successfully meeting and or exceeding your goals, maybe make them more challenging. If you aren’t meeting the goal you met, and see some obvious reasons why, change the goal entirely, or lower the expectations and standards, so you can find more success in achieving the goal. Goals should be fluid and flexible, to rigid and finite, so open yourself up to the possibility to change them when needed.
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