I was so honored to be a guest on FOX 5 San Diego this morning to talk about how parents can help their children make and achieve goals for the new year. Since on-air segments are so short, I wanted to go into more depth about what I spoke about live during the segment in this blog. Want to learn how to support your child and set them up for success this new year? If you said yes, keep reading!
WHAT AGE SHOULD YOU TALK TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT RESOLUTIONS?
When children are toddlers, as young as 2-3 years old, and they are learning to potty train, they are setting and achieving goals. And when a child is around 5, they begin to understand the concept of a concrete goal, but it’s really around the age of 7 when they develop better logic and abstract thinking skills to set and achieve goals effectively.
WHAT ARE GOOD RESOLUTIONS FOR KIDS TO SET?
Individual child-friendly goals can include daily movement, eating more vegetables, daily reading time, less screen time, more chores, etc.
HOW DO YOU HELP THEM KEEP TRACK?
I suggest setting up to 3 goals for the year or better yet, one goal for each month to work on (January = Work on brushing teeth, February = Work on cleaning my room and keep their room clean, March = reading more books). Children will get overloaded if you set too many goals for them at one time. You can have daily and or weekly goals, but make sure they don’t try to accomplish too much at once. Children respond so well to visuals and positive feedback. To track your goals effectively, start by printing out a blank calendar or making one from scratch to hang up on the fridge or in your child’s room. Each day that your child meets their goal, write in an X or check mark, or even put a sticker on that day. This way, your child’s goals are easily tracked in a tangible way. Look for small wins along the way. Maybe they accomplished more than they did last week, even if they didn’t reach their overall goal. That deserves positive feedback. Improvement and achieving their personal best deserves a second look! Make sure to praise your child when they are positively moving toward their goal and or when they reach a goal. Children, especially, need positive feedback and reinforcement, so they know are encouraged and motivated to continue their goal!
IS THIS A GOOD PRACTICE?
Yes! Goal setting is extremely helpful for a child’s development. Setting and achieving goals helps boost a child’s self-esteem, and helps teach responsibility, accountability, independence, discipline, and good habits. Goal setting helps in planning skills and teaching failure tolerance and resilience.
WHAT SHOULD WE KEEP IN MIND WHEN IT COMES TO GOALS AND RESOLUTIONS FOR KIDS?
I believe parents should keep in mind that there will be setbacks and roadblocks along the way, so they should be prepared to pivot and learn how to encourage and motivate their child when they want to give up. Parents should also teach their children about failure and about having a growth mindset.
WHAT WOULD YOU SUGGEST TO SET RESOLUTIONS FOR THE FAMILY?
Family goals are extremely important to strengthen communication and connection between family members. Family goals can include giving each other daily compliments, having no screen time during meals, planning an outing or fun day out together once a month, a weekly walk around the neighborhood, or even working together as a team to accomplish a task around the house like a painting project, building something together, or cleaning out the garage!
HOW DO WE KEEP OURSELVES ACCOUNTABLE OR ON TRACK WITH GOALS?
First, I suggest manifesting goals with a vision board. You can do this as a family. Gather a bunch of old magazines and cut out affirming and motivating words and photos for the year. Next, write your goals down. If they aren’t externalized, they may not happen. This is the first step in accountability. Next, make sure you track your goals visually so you have something tangible to review each week/month. And start small and work your way up to big goals. If your ultimate goal is for your child to floss everyday, start by having them floss once a week. It doesn’t matter what day they choose each week, but hold them accountable to floss once a week for about a month. Then, for the second month, have them floss twice a week and so on each month. This routine will become a habit and by the 7th or 8th month, your child should be flossing everyday! You can also introduce your children to SMART Goal Setting. Help them set goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound.
OTHER GOAL SETTING TIPS
- I will read more books this year than last year (this might be better than saying I will read one book each week, because it’s too specific, and if it doesn’t happen, your child is more likely to give up because they feel like they failed early on). Start small and set yourself up for success. If the goal is too big, too specific, or there are too many, it can become overwhelming and you may begin to resent them, and of you don’t achieve them, you’ll feel defeated and may not want to try again. For example, I will spend 10 minutes a day reading (working your way up to 30 minutes a day) vs I will spend 30 minutes reading or I will read 15 books this year. Make the goal achievable and measurable but not too specific. (I will lose 30 pounds, instead I will incorporate movement in my daily habits or I will work on moving my body at least two days a week)
- Use a both/and perspective. I did good enough today and I accept that. I can grow and work on more tomorrow. Give yourself grace and also motivate, inspire, and encourage yourself to do more!
- Make sure the goal is fluid and flexible. Make intentions and goals instead of rigid and firm expectations and decisions. For example, I will drink more water each week until I reach my goal. The goal is to make something a habit rather than a goal or succeed mentality. For a child, say “I will listen to my parents the first time in 50% of opportunities given each day)
- Instead of a specific resolution or goal, choose a word for the year or one for each month to focus on (wellness, nutrition, better sleep habits, etc)
- Find an accountability partner to help inspire and motivate you (you do the same)
Watch the full TV segment here!
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