As a licensed therapist that specializes in children’s behavior, I get asked all of the time about how to make transitions more of a smoother process for parents and children. Transitions can be challenging, especially when a child is actively participating in a preferred activity and they are asked to switch to a less preferred activity. But don’t worry, I have some parenting hacks, tips, and tricks for you to try with your children in hopes it makes parenting a little bit easier for you. All of these concepts are tried and true tactics that will work on most children, a lot of the time, but if one doesn’t work, try the next one, and switch it around, so your child doesn’t get tired of the same tactic over and over. Below are my play-based parenting hacks on how to make transitions more fun for kids!
Set a Timer
This tactic is pretty common, but if you haven’t tried it yet, I guarantee it will work. You can set an auditory timer on your phone, microwave, kitchen timer, Alexa, etc – or use my favorite way to set a timer, which is a visual and colorful sand timer. You can purchase a set of these timers on Amazon for $6 and they come with six different colored timers in varying time increments. The timers start at 30 seconds and go up to 10 minutes. When you need your child to transition, verbally tell your child you are setting a timer for 5 minutes. Then, let them know what to expect when the timer goes off. Firmly and calmly set a limit that you will be leaving when the timer goes off, and also tell them what they can look forward to when they transition. For example, if you are leaving the park to go home, tell them they can have a special snack in the car on the way or tell them they can pick the songs to listen to during the ride home. Then place the timer near them so they can easily see and or hear it. Once it goes off, be standing and ready to go. Verbally remind them that the timer went off and it’s time to leave. Then remind them of their special perk during the transition, ask them what they are going to choose, get excited about it, and off you go.
Verbal Countdown
Many parents, including myself, use this common and effective tactic for transitions. Basically, you verbally let your child know they have 10 minutes to complete their activity before they need to transition to the next activity. Let them know what is next to expect so they can have ample processing time. Then every two minutes after that first warning, start counting down to 8 minutes, 6 minutes, 4 minutes, 2 minutes, and then let them know time is up. Some children need and want proof, thus the auditory and or visual timers tend to work better, but this tactic also works well on most children.
Play it Out
For this tactic, make transitioning fun. Make leaving the park into a game. Ask your child to race you to the car and whoever wins gets a special treat at home, extra time on the iPad, or additional time to stay up past their bedtime. If you or your child aren’t into running races, hop to the car on one foot or move slowly like a sloth if you have time to spare. But make heading to the car fun nonetheless. You can also play freeze walk/dance to the car. Put on their favorite song and tell them to walk or dance to the car when they hear the song playing and when the song stops, they freeze. You do this until you reach the car. If you are transitioning at home from playtime to mealtime, just modify these games, and do freeze walk/dance from the playroom to the kitchen or bathroom to wash their hands before dinnertime.
Switch-A-Roo
If you want your child to transition smoothly, play a little switch-a-roo with them. Distract their attention from one activity to another by replacing it with another activity that they can look forward to. Then, ask them if they were the parent, how much more time would they give their children to play before leaving/transitioning? They might say something outrageous like “a year or 20 hours” but remember, most children under 10 don’t know how to tell time very well, and don’t grasp the concept of time, so negotiate with them. They may say 20 minutes, so say, how about 10 minutes? Maybe you’ll settle at 15 minutes. When they feel like the parent, and are part of the decision making process, they are more apt to comply. Then switch one activity with another. Ask them, what do you want to do after we leave and run our errand (eat dinner, do homework, etc). Switch their mindset from one activity to the next so they have something to look forward to for later!
Ask “what is your last choice”?
When your child is about to transition, ask them what is the last thing they want to do before you leave or clean up? This question will empower your child and help them believe that they are in charge of what they do before you leave or transition. When children feel like they have some sort of control over the situation they are more apt to leave without protest. So maybe they choose going down the slide one more time before you leave the park. Or they choose to draw one more picture before putting the paper and crayons away. If they can’t think of something that won’t take a long time, offer them options. Then let them choose one “last thing” to keep the empowerment moving in their favor!
Offer an Incentive
Some parents don’t believe in a reward system, but they are so effective, especially with transitions and praising positive behavior! So next time you need your child to comply and transition, set up a token system like a sticker chart, raffle box, Dojo points, etc. Then set up the behavior expectation. Tell them if they listen and follow directions when you ask them to leave/transition, they will earn a sticker for their chart, raffle ticket, point, etc., (which will ultimately earn them a bigger reward) and then verbally praise them when they do, so they know to repeat that behavior again and again!
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