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Let’s Talk About: Being a Mom is Selfless + Always Being in Love

Being a mom is…selfless! Am I right? It’s not a complaint. It’s not an excuse. It’s a reality. As moms we typically aren’t looking for sympathy. We are just looking to be noticed. We are looking to be acknowledged. We are looking to be appreciated.

I remember when I was growing up I would thank my mom for everything she did for me and especially for being selfless. And even though I said the words I never truly knew what it meant until I became a mother myself.

Maybe you are a single mom. Maybe you are a mom with a husband that is deployed for months at a time. Maybe you are a mom married to a firefighter or a doctor that is on call and isn’t home various nights throughout the week. Or maybe you are a mom with a husband that works long hours or is constantly traveling on business trips. And maybe you are a mom with a partner that is home after work at a decent hour each night and has the desire to help as much as he can but he is tired after working a 10 hour day and surviving a 2 hour commute and just can’t do as much as he’d like to help you.

So why do us moms have grey hairs, worry lines and wrinkles, and even cry out of the blue sometimes? We worry and we are tired. We are literally weak from exhaustion. Every minute of the day we worry about the wellbeing of our children. We worry if they are healthy. We worry if they are safe. We worry if they are happy. Have they been fed? Have they drank enough water today? Did we brush their teeth? Did they take their vitamin? What craft are we going to do today? Did I spend enough time showing them how much I love them?

Our jobs don’t start at dawn and end at dusk. We work the morning shift, the afternoon shift, the night shift, and the overnight shift.

The morning shift starts as soon as our babies wake up. We work all day with barely a break long enough to visit the restroom and typically accompanied by one or all of our children. We cook for everyone but often eat last and typically take bites of our food while standing up and multitasking and working on some other chore like the dishes. The night shift starts when our children go to bed. We stay up later than everyone else in the home because that is the only time we have to get our work done. Our overnight shift starts at any given hour during the wee hours of the morning. When our babies wake up multiple times throughout the night we go feed them. When our toddlers wake up from a bad dream or need to go to the bathroom, they come to our side of the bed. Secretly we love it and wouldn’t change it for the world. We love to feel needed by our children. We love that we are the one they go to when they are sick and hurt or need to be tucked into bed with a hug and kiss. But is it a lot of work? Yes!

Being a mom is a constant juggling act! We are the ones that pack the snacks before we leave the house. We are the ones that make sure we are stocked with diapers and wipes. We are the ones that take the children to the dentist and the doctor appointments. The groceries do not just appear in the pantry from the food fairy. The dinner isn’t made by a chef. The clean clothes tucked away in our drawers aren’t folded by a laundry magician. Messes aren’t cleaned by themselves. Our responsibilities are endless. We are the glue that holds everything together. From paying the bills to managing the various components of everyday intricacies we are often the custodian, the teacher, the cook, and the principal. Are we bragging? No. We just work a lot behind the scenes and it isn’t always obvious. This is the privilege we signed up for and have no regrets, but please don’t forget to say thank you.

And even on the days that aren’t so forgiving and we are consumed with guilt because we feel like a flawed mother, our children will give us a hug unprompted and tell us what a great mommy we are and how much they love us. It’s on days like these when we walk into the room to pick up our baby from their crib and they smile from ear to ear with their arms reached high for us to pick them up. Babies’ first word is generally mommy and we know that in their eyes we are doing a great job. We are their hero and their best friend, and we know we are loved.

So for all of the other mamas out there I see you. I appreciate you and what you do. Your children love you. Today was stressful but remember tomorrow is a new day. Most of the time we are in survival mode and I understand. No shower? No problem. Didn’t get to the laundry today? That’s ok. Ordered take-out? No big deal. This time in life is challenging but every second is worth it. One day your children will take care of themselves and you will yearn for this time where you are the one taking care of them. You are raising human beings and there is no monetary value to what you do and how hard you work. You often work overtime and don’t get paid for it. You deserve a raise every month but don’t get one. And do you ask for it? Probably not. Do you complain about it? Maybe. But do you do it each and every day because you love being a mom and you wouldn’t have it any other way? Yes. And that is why our children thank us for all that we do and for being selfless.

Being a Mom is…Always Being in Love! Are you looking to show appreciation for another mom in your life or are you in need to spoil yourself a little? Author, Anna Belle, is a mom of three children and wrote this book because she was inspired by her own motherhood. She initially started writing the book for her children and it became a bigger passion project and this is the first book of a series. Her next book is set to be published in a few months.

Her new hardcover book takes you through the journey of motherhood from conception and beyond. Honestly, this book brought tears to my eyes because of the sweet sentiment and relatable messages on each page. One of my favorite pages is “Being a Mom is…Holding them Longer than They Need to Be” because each day my baby grows a day older, is a day I can’t take back, and I have been noticing myself holding him longer and longer each night before bed and hanging on to the slow moments as long as possible. Another favorite page said, “Being a Mom is…Crying on their First Day of Preschool” because my daughter starts her first day in just a few short weeks and I tear up if I think about it too long. As a mom, we often wonder how time flies, we help our children pursue their dreams, and we even learn to let go. This book portrays the lessons in motherhood that we have or will someday experience and puts motherhood in perspective. This book embodies our journey as a mother and just why we do what we do each and every day of our lives. No matter how old our children become, they will always be our babies.

This book makes an excellent gift for your own mother, a friend, sister, aunt, or grandmother for any occasion. Make it a just because gift, a birthday gift, or buy early as a stocking stuffer, Mother’s Day, or Valentine’s Day gift! To purchase your book click this link https://www.etsy.com/listing/538875113/gift-for-mom-mom-gifts-mom-birthday-baby?ref=shop_home_active_1 and to follow on Instagram click here https://www.instagram.com/mommy_author_anna_belle/ and on Facebook click here https://www.facebook.com/AuthorAnnaBelle/

And make sure you are following me on Facebook and or Instagram as I am giving ONE BOOK away to one lucky winner! In the meantime, you can also score 30% off your own copy by typing in the code INSTA30!

What does being a mom mean to you?

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Hello! I am Dr. Kim and I am The Parentologist! I am first and foremost a wife and a mom. I am also a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Registered Play Therapist. I hope through my professional and personal experience we can collaborate with each other on how to better ourselves and our relationships with our families and our children.

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TODAY.com Parenting Team Parenting Contributor

About Dr. Kim

Hello! I am Dr. Kim and I am The Parentologist! I am first and foremost a wife and a mom. I am also a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Registered Play Therapist. I hope through my professional and personal experience we can collaborate with each other on how to better ourselves and our relationships with our families and our children. Read More…

My Instagram

🇺🇸 What a monumental day in history we had t 🇺🇸 What a monumental day in history we had today! 🇺🇸

As soon as we woke up I started educating my children, specifically my daughter, on what the inauguration meant and why today was such a special day in history. We both were glued to the television as we watched @kamalaharris be sworn in as the first Black South Asian woman Vice President and @joebiden be sworn in as the 46th President of the United States. We also were powerfully moved hearing @amandascgorman - the youngest inaugural poet in history recite “The Hill We Climb.” 

My daughter was so excited to participate and recite the Pledge of Allegiance with the rest of the county and she was so proud to see and be a part of history in the making. I haven’t been to Washington D.C. in about 8 years but I promised I would take her one day when the pandemic is over. 

In the meantime, I have a fun fact for you! Did you know that President Joe Biden and I both graduated from the same university? Yep! We both went to @syracuseu 🍊 And in fact, @joebiden is the first @syracuseu alumnus to become President of the United States! 

📸: @chrissywphoto #inauguration #inagurationday #inaguration2021 #joebiden #kamalaharris #presidentbiden #syracuseuniversity #syracuse #syracuseu #historyismade #madamvicepresident #mommyandme #46thpresident #sandiego #sandiegoblogger #momblogger #parentingblogger #motherhood
This time of year is notorious for dry air, allerg This time of year is notorious for dry air, allergies, and sinus trouble. #ad 

And since I work from home, it can get quite noisy and distracting with my husband and two children here, so sometimes I get my best work done in the comfort of my own bed. And the best part is that I can have my new @crane_usa “4 in 1” cool mist humidifier on at all times with essential oils to help with overall wellness and since it comes with a sound machine I can block out the other noises in the house! 

And at night, it helps my sinuses as I sleep, especially when the dry air of the heater is on, and it has a nightlight so my kids can see where they are going in the middle of the night when they inevitably need water or a hug! 

This is our 6th #cranehumidifier style and it’s my favorite one yet! Check out my stories for a closer look! 👀 #happyhealthyhumidity 

#humidifier #coldandflu #humidifiers #peaceandquiet #workingfromhome #workingmom #working #coldandfluseason #coldandflurelief #winter #winterstyle #wintertime #wintervibes #winter2021 #wahm #wahmlife #wahmlifestyle #workfromhomemom #workfromhomelife #workfromhome #workathomemom #workathome #workathomelife #newmom #babyshowergift #sinusrelief
{New Blog Post} “How to Teach Children Gratitude {New Blog Post} “How to Teach Children Gratitude” 🌱✨🌸

Throwing it back to one of the first mommy and me photos I ever posted on my feed because I’ve been teaching my daughter about gratitude since she was this little, possibly even younger (she is two here for reference)! 

Gratitude is such an important virtue and must have trait to build a child’s character. It also shows therapeutic benefits when you show gratitude to others, so why wouldn’t you want to make it a priority to teach and instill in your children? 

In this blog, I have suggestions for how to teach children gratitude broken down by ages and stages from infancy to teenage years, while also including some conversation prompts, and links to my favorite gratitude journals for busy families that we use here at home! 

Find the direct link to read in my bio and stories! I also published similar articles on @todayparents and @redtricycle if you follow me there! #drkimblog
DOUBLE TAP if you agree!! 🙋🏼‍♀️ I am DOUBLE TAP if you agree!! 🙋🏼‍♀️

I am that mom who wants to do it all and when I get overwhelmed or start suffering from a major case of burnout, I feel guilty if I take a break instead of giving my body and mind permission to slow down or even stop. 

As moms we often feel guilty if we take a break or believe we are perceived as weak if we ask for help. I have learned that the more I ask for help and the more time I take for myself, the better I am for my children. 

Guilt is an emotional response to something you perceived you did wrong, but when you experience unnecessary guilt, it’s counterproductive to healing and helping you with what you need most. So give it a try and let me know how you are going to take a break and not feel guilty about it this week below in the comments! ⤵️ #drkimparentingtips #theparentologist #drkimparentingadvice
DOUBLE TAP if you used to love Hello Kitty when yo DOUBLE TAP if you used to love Hello Kitty when you were little - and still do! 🙋🏼‍♀️🐱#ad

I am so excited to have all of these new items from the @erincondren Hello Kitty collection that launched today to keep work fun, playful, and reminiscent of childhood - something all adults need a little more of, am I right? 

The collection is all about organization, kindness, and friendship. My favorite piece of the collection is the “Daily Kindness and Joy Journal” that boldly says BE KIND, BE NICE, REPEAT on the front cover but I am also pretty obsessed with the Hello Kitty x Erin Condren Pencil Case and Vegan Leather Padfolio! 

Swipe to see my business attire on top and activewear on the bottom work style! 😉 And head to my stories to see it all up close and for your convenience I have everything linked for you http://liketk.it/35XZC and make sure to follow me at THEPARENTOLOGIST @liketoknow.it  for more of my favorites!!! #liketkit #erincondren
{New Blog Post} “Sensory Play, Pretend Play, and {New Blog Post} “Sensory Play, Pretend Play, and Role Play Ideas for Children with Autism” 🧩 🧸 🚂 ⚽️ 
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For the last 3 years I have spent my career therapeutically helping families and children of all ages on the Autism Spectrum. Play has been a fundamental way for many of my clients to communicate if they are non-verbal. And some of my clients have had to be taught how to play with a toy or another person. The play ideas listed on the blog can be used with children with or without special needs. Play is a universal way a child can explore their world in a way that makes sense to them and cultivate imagination, creativity, and fun! As a Registered Play Therapist, I love the work I do and couldn’t be prouder of the progress my clients have made with play over the years! #drkimblog
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#autism #autismmom #autismfamily #autismspectrum #autismcommunity #autismparent #autismlife #autismparents #autismparenting #autistickids #autisticchildren #autistictoddler #autismresources #playtherapy #playtherapist #playbasedlearning #learningthroughplay #activitiesforkids #activitiesfortoddlers #activitiesforchildren #sensoryplay #sensoryplayideas #sensoryprocessingdisorder #sensoryactivities #momswhoblog #ontheblog #newblogpost #parentingblogger #momblogger
{New Blog Post} ✨🌱🧴“Ways to Take Control {New Blog Post} ✨🌱🧴“Ways to Take Control of Your Eczema” #ad 
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These winter months have been so dry and my eczema has been flaring up. Can anyone relate? For decades I have used a variety of treatment options from over-the-counter ointments and lotions to doctor prescribed steroid medication. In today’s blog, I am partnering with @mediqcme to share more of my story and struggles with atopic dermatitis as well as some new treatment options! If you or a loved one suffer from eczema or atopic dermatitis it’s a must read! 
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Plus there is a survey at the end of the blog you can fill out and opt in to be entered to win 1 of 10 VISA gift cards! 🙌🏻 Link in bio and in stories! #itchyskinhelp #drkimblog
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#eczema #eczemarelief #eczemahealing #eczematreatment #eczemaproblems #eczemawarrior #atopicdermatitis #itchyskin #itchyskinrelief #atopicskin #atopicdermatitistreatment #atopicdermatitismanagement #eczemamanagement #winterskincare #winterskin #winterskincareroutine #winterskincaretips #newblogpost #momswhoblog #ontheblog #wellnessblogger #wellnesstips #wellnessexpert
{New Blog Post} 🌿 “How to Utilize Play to Get {New Blog Post} 🌿 “How to Utilize Play to Get Your Kids to Do What You Want” 
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As a Registered Play Therapist, play is the foundation to the way I help children conceptualize and conquer the world. Play is second nature to children and the way they respond to many of life’s obstacles. Sometimes as parents, it is easy to get into a power match with your children, especially when you want your children to comply with a request and they won’t budge. When this happens, we need to change the way our adult mind thinks and switch it to the way a child thinks. Instead of giving them a punitive consequence, try these play recommendations that can be used with children as young as toddlerhood all the way to adolescents! #drkimblog 
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#playtherapy #playtherapist #therapistsofinstagram #playoutsidethebox #learningthruplay #playbasedlearning #learningthroughplay #learningisfun #parenting #parentingtips #parenting101 #parentingteens #parentingtweens #parentingtoddlers #parentingadvice #parentingexpert #parentingblogger #parentingblog #newblogpost #ontheblog #momswhoblog #parenthood #toddlerproblems #toddlermom #behaviortherapist #behaviortherapy #positiveparentingsolutions #positiveparentingtips #positiveparenting
{New Blog Post} “Tips on How To Set Goals Effect {New Blog Post} “Tips on How To Set Goals Effectively in 2021” ✨ 
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It’s is usually around this time that I start thinking of the goals I want to accomplish for the year. And whether you believe in making resolutions, affirmations, or goals, it is time to be proactive!! On the blog, I outlined an organizational system I use year after year to help me accomplish my goals. And I hope they work for you!! 
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What are some of your goals you want to accomplish this year? 
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#2021 #2021goals #goals #goalsetting #goalgetter #goalsettingtips #goalsetter #goalsetting2021 #goalcrusher #momhustle #snowday #snowman #newgoals #newgoals2021 #mommyandme #letthembelittle #letthembekids #letthemplay #playoutside #playoutdoors #playoutsidethebox #familyday #familyfun #familysnowday
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