I Will Never Forget: A Letter to my Daughter

I’ll never forget the first time I found out I was going to be a mother. Growing you inside me has never made me feel more complete. I’ll never forget the first time I felt you kick and the first time we picked out your name. I’ll never forget the first time I heard you cry. It was as if time stood still for just a moment as you entered the world for the first time. I’ll never forget our heartbeats synchronized the first time I held you. You were breathtaking. I’ll never forget that mama was your first word. Hearing them from your lips was music to my ears. 

One day I want you to find love and happiness, but until then, I’ll never forget that I was the first person you loved, kissed, held hands with, and hugged. I’ll never forget all the times you told me that you wished you could marry me and daddy one day. And even though I know that one day I’ll have to let you go, you will always be my baby girl. In the meantime, I am going to hold you as close as I can for as long as you will let me. 

I’ll never forget that I was your first best friend and your first teacher. It has been my honor to spend so many hours of my life playing with you and it has been my privilege to teach you everything I know. I promise that I will continue to do so as long as I live. You will always be able to come to me with questions, seek advice, cry on my shoulder, and hug me as tight as you can. 

And if you ask me why mommy is a little sad today, it’s because this will be the first time in your life that you’ll start making memories without me. 

I am so proud you and who you have evolved into and can’t wait to be by your side as you continue to grow. But this day is different and I will never forget. I will never forget you waking up and running to my side of the bed giddy with excitement reminding me that it was the first day of school. I will never forget you climbing into bed with me and holding me tighter than usual as we both knew today was going to change everything we have ever known together. I’ll never forget helping you get ready and packing your lunch. I’ll never forget dropping you off at school and you running off after saying goodbye without looking back. You were so brave. And I’ll never forget spending the day at home as it was a little quieter and a lot more empty. I’ll never forget how I just sat and cried to myself because I knew today was the first day of the rest of your life. You’ll never know just how deeply I missed you. Today was a new beginning for both of us. 

And I have to admit that once you thought I left your school, I was there watching through a window for just a passing moment. You were playing with your new friends and practicing riding a tricycle. You were so happy. And it was at that moment that I knew you were going to be ok and I realized that this day was going to be much harder for me than it was going to be for you. I pray that today was much harder on me than for you. I never want you to suffer or be sad. And as much as I desperately want to go back in time or have your life go in slow motion and pause once in a while, today was a healthy start to live your own life, even if it’s just for a few short hours each day. Today was a day that put life in perspective. And even though a part of me wished I could have taken you home with me, I knew I had to let go and leave you to be who you are meant to be.

You told me this week that when you grow up you want to be a dentist and I have no doubt in my mind that you will be whatever you want to be. Your dreams, hopes, goals, and aspirations are all possible and I believe in you. And although I’m happy and proud I’m raising an intelligent, capable, and independent little girl, I know it’s just a matter of time before I’m taking your picture for the senior prom, seeing you get your diploma at your college graduation and watching you say your vows at your wedding.

I’ll never forget that you made me a mother for the first time and I hope one day when you have your first child you can promise me you’ll never forget either.