As a licensed child mental health therapist who has been in practice for over a decade and a professor who has been teaching Play Therapy and Parent Child Therapy at the university level for over 8 years, parents have asked me many questions over the years about when to send their child to therapy and what kind of therapy they should have. To be honest, before I received my Doctorate in Psychology, I didn’t know there were different types of therapy modalities. I thought you just called a professional and talked to them. I didn’t realize all of the intricacies of therapy and I know now that not all therapists are created equal. You don’t know until you know, right? And as a parent, I can understand the worry and confusion about how and when to help your child and wanting to make the best choice when they might need therapeutic support.
Sometimes it takes a while to find the right fit, especially for a child. Not only does a child have to feel safe, but they have to mesh with personality and even the type of therapy that is given to them to create growth and change. So I am here now to answer your questions about childhood therapy and educate you more about what I do as a play therapist. Then, I hope it can help guide you in making the best decision possible for your child if they need to see a therapist.
When Should I Take My Child To Therapy?
This is the million dollar question! Here is my recommendation, if you believe your child is going through any distress and or if their daily functioning is suffering, it’s time to call a professional. In my experience, parents often wait too long to seek help due to one reason or another (usually the unknown, finances, lack of resources, and the stigma) and I advocate for parents to be more proactive in getting their child support preventatively. The sooner you get help, the better. And if your mom gut is telling you something is wrong, listen to it, and take action.
Just because your child goes to therapy, doesn’t mean something is wrong with them. Sometimes a child goes through a severe trauma and needs a tremendous amount of support due to their emotional, mental, and behavioral symptoms, but sometimes, parents need some extra tools and to a child needs to learn how to cope with their hyperactivity, loss of a loved one, a divorced home, or any other issue that might be plaguing them. I see children who have specific diagnosis like depression, anxiety, mood disorders, eating disorders, ADHD, and Autism, but I also see children who have some minor separation anxiety about starting a new school or moving to a new neighborhood or are having a difficult time adjusting to a new sibling in the home.
What is Play Therapy?
Play is the universal language of children and has many benefits. In fact, therapeutic play techniques and interventions are extremely reputable and effective, but play therapy remains an underrated and unknown behavioral modification modality. Research has shown how play can help children heal and grow socially, emotionally, behaviorally, and mentally as well as help with anxiety, depression, behavior modification, divorce, trauma, grief and loss, and so much more. Play is used for a multitude of reasons when traditional talk therapy isn’t a good fit for a child.
“Toys are like the child’s words and play is the child’s language” – Gary Landreth, 2002, Play Therapist
Play therapists utilize play to help a child *“explore, express, and safely experience the difficulties they are working through.” Play therapy is about building a safe, trusting relationship where a child is honored and respected for where they are at and where they want and need to go. Play therapy doesn’t always mean “fun” and children work hard during sessions to move through their emotional pain and or behavioral challenges. I have helped thousands of families, parents, and children using therapeutic play interventions, strategies, and techniques and have taught play therapy at the university level for almost a decade, and it really works!
What Should a Parent Expect From a Play Therapy Session?
I will speak for myself since every therapist does things a little differently and it may even depend if a therapist is child centered or not. After the initial session, where I do my intake and get to know the parent and the child, I like to see my clients every week for about 3 months or so. I have found, that I am able to teach effective coping skills and therapeutic interventions and techniques to the parent and the child in this amount of time. If the parent or child need more support after the 3 month mark, we can go to every other week or once a month or an as needed basis.
I am a systemic therapist, which means that I like to have more than just the child in the therapy room. Family dynamics are complex and often need to be analyzed and supported from different angles. And usually it’s not the just the child that needs therapy or support. So I break my sessions in half, especially since most children I see are little and have a low attention span anyway. I see the child for about 20-30 minutes depending on age, developmental, and cognitive level and then talk with the parents for about 20-30 minutes. During my time with the child, I will use various play tools like a sand tray, puppets, games, etc depending on what the child needs. I typically let the child take the lead on what play they need, while offering a safe, trusting, non-judgmental, and supportive environment. Sometimes I will have the parent join the session if I am trying to teach something or I want to observe a particular behavior. But normally, the parent will wait in the other room while I see the child alone. This is where the most change and healing are going to be made.
Where Can I Find a Play Therapist?
I suggest going to the Association for Play Therapy and finding a therapist through their directory. You can also visit PsychologyToday and find a therapist in your area by filtering through various preferences.
*Quote taken from Play More and Prosper
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