Have you ever asked yourself how suicide affects our youth?
September is National Suicide Prevention Month and today is World Suicide Prevention Day so I want to take a moment and share how suicide affects our youth in our current culture today.
First and foremost, if you or someone you know needs help, please call or text the
Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988
Now, I want to help educate you on the risk factors, warning signs and symptoms, and possible solutions and preventative measures of suicide.
STAGGERING SUICIDE STATISTICS
Someone in the US dies by suicide every 11 minutes
132 Americans die each day because of suicide
The youngest person on record to ever commit suicide was 6 years old
Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in people ages 10-34
Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in people ages 15-24
On average, suicide under the age of 13 happens every 5 days
We lose over 48,183 individuals a year (7,126 between the ages of 10-24)
Each day there are approximately 12 youth suicides
Every two hours and 11 minutes, a person under the age of 25 completes suicide
Chances are you or someone you know has been affected by suicidal ideation, suicidal attempt(s), or dying by suicide. In fact, according to the CDC, 12.3 million adults seriously think about suicide, 3.5 million adults made a plan, and 1.7 million adults attempted suicide. But what about our youth?
Although we lose people each and every day, talking about suicide remains taboo. There is an overarching stigma attached to suicide and there are many powerful opinions on the topic.
But suicide is preventable and by talking about it, you just might save a life
So what role do you play? How can you help?
As an experienced clinician, I have worked with multiple clients over the years of different ages and circumstances that had suicidal ideation. Fortunately these individuals had the thoughts but didn’t have a plan or the means and their lives were spared. But unfortunately, I have lost many friends of friends to suicide and it’s life changing for those they leave behind. I have lost co-workers and neighbors and have witnessed firsthand how devastating it can be to those still living. We have even seen suicide in the media most recently when we lost Stephen ‘tWitch’ Boss, Kate Spade, and Anthony Bourdain. And in years past when we lost Robin Williams, Marilyn Monroe, Kurt Cobain, Alexander McQueen, Naomi Judd, Chester Bennington, Chris Cornell, and many more. I hope I can bring awareness to this topic and give you the tools to hopefully save a life along the way.
How Parents Can Support Their Children’s Mental Health
Provide a Support System
Children thrive on connection and community. So whether it’s friends at school, teachers, coaches, peers in after school activities, or neighbors – as well as AT HOME – make sure your children have an obvious and active support system. This also means getting involved in your child’s life at an appropriate level. Ensure they have a healthy support system by getting to know their teachers, teammates, coaches, youth leaders, and friends. Do you know the names of their friends? Do you know what classes they are struggling with? Do you know how much time or how they engage with social media and online platforms? Who is their crush? Have they experimented with drugs and alcohol?
Do a Daily Check In
Sometimes children don’t want to “talk” for long periods of time. And if you try to have long conversations with them that sound more like a lecture, they will get restless and tune out quickly. They possibly may even start to resent you and avoid you and having a conversation with you. So here’s my advice. First, start as early as you can to build trust and make daily check-ins a routine. Make a daily check-in an expectation. Make a daily check-in effortless. Make a daily check-in something quick and easy and maybe even a little fun. This is a great way to keep a pulse on your child’s mood, mental and emotional health, and social activity. I usually do a check-in after school each day. Ask your child to scale their day from 1-10. If the number is high, move on. If the number is low, ask them what could have made it higher and follow up with more questions about the day. But be careful not to overload them or flood them. You will lose them and they may shut down. As a tween or teen, you can continue the scaling and or make it more engaging like asking them to tell you something good, something bad, and something funny about their day. Empower them by letting them chose the order in which they tell you their answers. You can easily do this in the car on the way home or sitting around the dinner table.
Talk, Ask Questions, Reflect, and Listen
When your child starts talking about challenges they are having, use this as an opportunity to listen, ask questions, reflect, and listen. Showing empathy and validation is very important during this part of the conversation. Listen to their perspective and take away. They are being vulnerable, so make sure to have them share without judgment, immediate action, or anger. When a child shares a story or experience about their day or something they are struggling with, just practice listening and not responding. We don’t like to see our kids in any pain and innately want to help them. But sometimes when we interject our own advice based on similar stories and experiences, we intend to relate, but in actuality, it invalidates the child and they end up getting resentful and angry or shutting down. It is during these times when a lecture is the last thing they want or need to hear. You can still show empathy by saying “that must be hard. I had a similar experience and know a bit how you might feel.” and then leave it at that…then ask “do you want me to just listen or help you solve the problem?” When a child is struggling, it is important to validate their emotions and experience. Similar to being empathetic, let them know you see them and hear them. Let them know you can relate and understand what they are feeling. And remind them that it’s ok to be upset.
Teach Social-Emotional Skills
Technology and utilizing computers and smart phones have enabled society, particularly our youth, to hide from others. Face to face communication lacks in our current culture, therefore there is an abundant deficiency of commitment with others. People meet and break up on social sites, texts, and email instead of in person or even over the phone. Technology often enables many individuals to not communicate as effectively with each other. Our youth will lack the necessary skills to communicate appropriately with others as the years go on, if parents do not teach the importance of face to face communication and appropriate social emotional skills.
Teach Children About Emotions
Parents can proactively support their children before a problem occurs by teaching their children:
- How label their feelings
- How to appropriately express their emotions
- How to communicate effectively with others
- How to be respectful to their friends
- How to be accountable for their actions
- How to honor commitments and responsibilities
RISK FACTORS
There are numerous risk factors that may lead someone to have suicidal thoughts. Women are not exempt from dying by suicide and although they are more likely to attempt suicide, men are 4x more likely to complete suicide. And although we have lost people of all ages to this act, individuals under the age of 24 and over the age of 65 are at a higher risk. If someone is having constant and prolonged stress, has a history of trauma or abuse, or a history of chronic illness, they are more at risk. In addition, if individuals have a family history of suicide and or have suffered from a recent tragedy or loss, they are also more at risk.
For youth specifically, children who have ADHD might also be more at risk of suicide and or suicidal thoughts. Youth with ADHD have an increased risk of depression and anxiety, especially during adolescent years, and therefore, may increase the likelihood of having suicidal ideation, at-risk behaviors, and self harm. In fact, female youth may have an even more susceptible to mental health concerns than boys with ADHD. And since many children with ADHD are impulsive, they have a higher risk for suicidal actions. According to Nationwide Children’s Hospital, “impulsivity can drive ADHD youth to move rapidly from thoughts about suicide to suicidal behaviors during times of distress. Youth with ADHD are more likely to act in risky or dangerous ways and spend less time considering the impact and permanence of a suicide attempt.” Furthermore, youth with ADHD often have a higher level of social and academic challenges and may suffer from poor self image, peer conflict, isolation, loneliness, and hopelessness, which can increase risk factors of suicide.
When looking at risk factors you also need to take substance abuse into consideration. Do you know someone that has extreme highs and lows resulting from drugs or alcohol? Studies have shown that more than 1 in 3 individuals who die from suicide are found to be currently under the influence. Youth with ADHD, especially if it’s untreated, can be more at risk of using dugs and alcohol, which can increase the risk of suicide due to their substance use. This also is true for youth who are abusing drugs and alcohol, even if they do not have an official diagnosis.
You also need to look at the means. Do they have access to firearms? Do they have access to drugs or prescription drugs? If you don’t know, do not be afraid to ask and talk to the person about it. If you do not feel “qualified” or comfortable, make sure you see that they receive support from a local clinician or someone at a crisis center.
WARNING SIGNS
There are warning signs you can look for that may just save a life. First look at their behavior. Are they isolating themselves? Are they highly agitated or irritable? Are they aggressive? Have they become more reckless or impulsive? Are they feeling hopeless? Maybe they are sleeping too much or too little? Or possibly they are increasing their use of drugs or alcohol? Typically dramatic mood swings is a big sign that something extreme is about to happen. To some’s surprise, most individuals don’t commit suicide when they are in a depressive state but when they have been in a depressive state and are coming out of that state into a more stable looking upswing of behavior and mood.
The next thing you want to look at is if the individual is making comments or threats about ending their life. Take every comment as serious and don’t blow it off because you think they don’t mean it. If they say “It would be easier if I was dead” or “I wish I wasn’t alive” take it seriously. There is most likely an element of truth. Youth could also take to the internet and post something about suicide or death on social media. You also might find things like researching how to die, looking for items like ropes, guns, medications, etc. in their search engine. Moreover, are they saying goodbye to the people in their life? Maybe giving away their possessions?
PREVENTION
So what can you do to help prevent suicide? First and foremost, talk about it and ask questions. Ask them if they are thinking of killing themselves. Ask them how they plan to do it and if they have the means. Next, provide support and listen. Help them find a licensed professional to help provide them with coping skills and improve their overall mental wellness. And stay calm and be a good listener. Try to not judge, condemn, or argue with them. Instead, ask how you can help and stay with them as long as needed before professional help can intervene. Once you leave, if you don’t live in the same home, check in on them. Create a safety plan. Ask them to text you once an hour or once a day depending on the severity. When I have had suicidal clients, I have had them sign a NO SUICIDE CONTRACT and have created a crisis plan with them, which won’t completely prevent someone from committing suicide, but it may help. But don’t ever feel like you (or they) are alone. Then, seek help.
RESOURCES
If you or someone you know needs help, please call the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988. This lifeline provides free confidential support 24 hours a day 7 days a week. If you are facing an emergency please call 911.
If you would like to find a trained mental health professional in your area to access risk and or to seek therapeutic services, please go to Psychology Today.
To reach the NAMI Teen and Young Adult HelpLine, text “FRIEND” to 62640 or email helpline@nami.org or call 1-800-950-6264. This helpline offers direct connection with another young person who shares similar experiences and is prepared to offer information, resources, and support. It is not a hotline, crisis line or suicidal prevention line.
Reference: NAMI : National Alliance on Mental Illness, CDC, CNN, Nationwide Children’s Hospital
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