Let’s talk for a moment about how children process traumatic experiences and situations like the wildfires that are occurring in LA right now. It’s been a heartbreaking and devastating week and whether you have experienced trauma firsthand or have just been watching everything unfold on the news or social media, most of us have been severely affected by the wildfires burning in Los Angeles this week.
In this blog, I am going to share some typical symptoms your child might experience and present with over the next couple of weeks or months, what typical behaviors you might see, and resources for support.
Childhood Trauma Symptoms
Some typical symptoms you might see your child experience after a traumatic experience is fear, worry, stress, separation anxiety, generated anxiety, having trouble sleeping, having trouble eating, nightmares, flashbacks, crying outbursts, irritability, lying or exaggerating their experience, numbness, disassociation, sadness, depression, anger outbursts, panic attacks, tantrums, meltdowns, being clingy or physically distant, hypervigilance, severe mood swings, stomachaches, headaches, trouble concentrating, and even some digressive behaviors like sucking their thumb or wetting their bed. They also might be triggered easily or have multiple triggers from the event, which may include any smell of smoke, aversion to whatever they ate for meals during displacement, being in the dark, etc.
How Children will Process and Heal Trauma Through Play
Children often process traumatic experiences through play because play is how they make sense of their world, how they perceive power and control over a situation, solve conflicts, process emotions, express themselves, and how they cope with what they experience. So with the wildfires, whether it’s a child directly affected and their home burned down or indirectly affected that may have just heard their parents talking about it or saw images on the news or social media, empower them and allow them space to play it out the scenario in order to heal.
For example, a child might want to dress up like a firefighter, their hero, and pretend to be saving their stuffed animal or doll in a “pretend” fire or they may want to take a hose and water down their home to “pretend” they are saving it (even if they lost it in the fires). They also might draw a picture (or many pictures over and over again for weeks) of a fire and a house burning down, that is a normal play experience that they are processing, and it’s ok. By stopping them because the image might be disturbing or uncomfortable and you think they are re-traumatizing themselves is untrue. This is their therapeutic process through play.
Many children reenact fears, worries, anger, sadness, and trauma related experiences through play because its familiar and predictable and they have control over it in a time when they have felt powerless, helpless, and out of control. These are just a few examples, but I hope I have helped provide insight into how children process trauma like the wildfires through play in order to heal.
Here are some other play-based ways children can express their emotions and process a trauma therapeutically:
Externalize on Paper
Let them color their emotion or experience on paper. Have them give their event/stress/trauma a name. This way, if they are feeling overwhelmed, uncomfortable, or any other emotional or behavioral symptoms coming on, they can say their code word and you’ll know how to respond. Next, have them color what this word/emotion feels like on paper. What does it look like? What colors is it? What shape is it in? This will help externalize their feelings from inside their body to outside of their body. It also helps them feel more in control it all. Maybe it’s a scribble or a detailed depiction of not only their emotion monster, but also the event itself. Maybe it’s a photo of their parents arguing or moving into a new home. Maybe it’s a picture of the person they saw robbing the store. Maybe it’s a person with a gun at their school. Or maybe it’s the wildfire that burned down the neighborhood.
Journal it Out
Let them journal. This means the good and the gritty. This means it might be painful for you if you read what they are really feeling. So without shame or judgement (or panic) read with calmness and caution. Look for life altering words, hopelessness, and suicidal ideation. Look for glimmers of hope, gratitude, and silver linings. And then open the lines of communication and discuss what they wrote with them. If they don’t want to “talk”, exchange notes to each other in a notebook until they are ready for a face to face conversation.
Get the Anger Out
Let them get their anger out. Get a bop bag or a pillow that they can hit, kick, throw, or scream into when they think of the event.
Create a Trauma Box
Let them fill a trauma box/jar. Go buy a box or jar for them to fill with memories of the event. The jar/box contains all of the stress, so it’s externalized and not something tangible on their person anymore. This helps them contain the trauma and also let it go.
Allow Yourself Time to Process
First and foremost, after a traumatic experience, allow yourself time to grieve. When we go through a traumatic experience, we all need support, so please make sure you monitor your own trauma and seek help if needed. Be an open and present listener and find someone you can talk to as well. Give yourself and your children empathy, grace, hope, validation, and forgiveness. Give yourself and your children time. They(and you) will be resilient and eventually will cope, heal, and recover.
Acute Stress vs. PTSD
Acute Stress symptoms start 0-28 days after the trauma occurs and lasts a few days or a few weeks, but less than a month.
Post Traumatic Stress symptoms start one month after the trauma occurs and lasts months or even years.
Resources for Support
To find a local therapist, go to PsychologyToday.com
For Crisis Support, for yourself or your child, try one of these:
If you think the person is in danger, call 800-273-TALK (8255) or 911 for help. You can also call or text 988 from anywhere in the US or text “Home” to 741-741.
The Disaster Distress Helpline (DDH) is a free, confidential, 24/7 crisis counseling service for anyone of any age in the US who is experiencing emotional distress related to disasters. You can call the DDH at 1-800-985-5990 or text “TalkWithUs” to 66746, available 24/7, 365 days a year
Other resources for disaster support:
- The SAMHSA Disaster Mobile App
- The Crisis Text Line, which is available 24/7 by texting 741741
- The Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health (DMH) at (800) 854-7771
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