Have you ever wondered if your child has anxiety? It’s perfectly normal and developmentally appropriate for children to get worried from time to time before a test or when they are starting a new music class for the first time, but what about constant anxiety that doesn’t seem to let up or maybe they have started developing phobias or selective mutism or even started having panic attacks? Anxiety can be debilitating and mentally and emotionally painful for a child and a parent to experience.
Throughout the years I have treated dozens upon dozens of children, adolescents, and even adults with anxiety. Anxiety symptoms may look a little different in children than adults and may be subtle enough where you may not even think it’s anxiety at first but then you’ll start seeing patterns and possibly a progression of fears, worries, and other behaviors you can’t ignore.
The most common symptoms of anxiety in children are irritability, insomnia, trouble eating, inability to focus or sit still, and even physiological symptoms like a constant tummy or headache. Some children will physically pick at their hair, skin, or nails. Some children will be hyper-vigilant and are easily startled. Some children may even have trouble breathing or calming down quickly and will easily cry and yell. Other children may have trouble being alone or away from the comfort of their home. And some children may seem hyperactive and pace or not he able to sit still for more than a few minutes at a time. Other children may develop irrational fears. And lastly, some children will show some co-morbid symptoms of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and have to repeat behaviors like washing their hands over and over, constantly checking if the door is locked, or continually organize, clean or stack various items. Things may have to be done in a very specific order or their whole world will turn upside down. For some, this may even mean a full blown tantrum or meltdown if something is out of place.
And after many years of practice, here are my TOP 5 general solutions to help some symptoms of anxiety at home. This blog is not a self diagnosis and is not a substitute for therapy. If you truly feel your child is suffering from anxiety, please seek out a mental health professional in your area or visit PsychologyToday.com.
You have probably heard basic coping skills for anxiety like taking deep breaths or counting backwards from 10, but here are my TOP 5 Solutions for Childhood Anxiety you can try at home!
Visual imagery: Find or create a visual imagery story you can read out loud to your child in a soft, slow, and calm voice when they are feeling anxious. As you are reading, they will sit or lay down in a comfortable and safe spot and close their eyes. I love telling a story where they can visualize themselves on the beach and use their sensory system to pretend to hear the waves crashing, smell the saltwater, see the sunset, and feel the sand between their toes.
Self Regulation Station: Set up an area in your house that your child feels safe in and put a pillow, blanket, soft music, fidget toys, sensory bottles, play-doh, lotion, books, or maybe even some art supplies and have them go there when they are starting to feel anxious. They can stay in there for as long as they need based on their age and severity of their symptoms. This area is not punitive or rewarding, it’s only used for self regulation.
Grounding Exercise: I have a favorite grounding exercise I do with my clients when they are anxious that utilizes the sensory system. Have your child sit in a comfortable place and position and then have your child close their eyes and take 2-3 deep breaths – in through the nose, out through the mouth. Then ask your child to slowly open their eyes and tell you two things they see, two things they smell, two things they hear, two things they can touch, and two things they taste (this can be imaginary), and then end by taking 2-3 deep breaths again.
Tangible Toys: Spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental release. Find a sensory friendly toy in each of these categories that they can see, touch, smell, listen, and or taste when they are feeling anxious. Have a favorite book or even a Bible or Devotional? Have a favorite blanket or pillow? Maybe a stuffed animal? Play-doh or silly putty? Maybe a punching bag? Maybe it’s a ball or painting a picture or maybe listening or dancing to music, find the coping mechanism that’s right for you!
Spending time outside: When your child is feeling anxious, fresh air breaks do wonders for their mood. Taking regular breaks throughout the day and going outside will help stabilize mood swings, fatigue, and some symptoms of anxiety. You can take a walk in the neighborhood, play in the backyard, or even go to the park, but spend as much time as you can getting some fresh air, exercise, and a little Vitamin D!
What else have you noticed works well with your child?
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