I’M SORRY I told you that when I started working from home that I would have time to keep up with the housework. I’m sorry that sometimes the laundry is ignored and stays in the basket to be put away for longer than it should. I’m sorry that you sometimes come home to dirty dishes in the sink. I’m sorry the bed isn’t made everyday because your daughter and I tend to take naps in it late in the afternoon and I can’t see the point in making the bed twice in one day.
I’M SORRY that the more pregnant I get I toss and turn all night trying to get comfortable from one side to another and wake you up in the process. I’m sorry that I have to sit up at night like a creeper watching over you because my heartburn is so bad. I’m sorry my insomnia is so bad you’ll wake up to the glow of my phone or my book light in the middle of the night. I’m sorry that I am fast asleep when you leave for work and I’m not awake to kiss you goodbye.
I’M SORRY that I don’t always have the time or energy to wash my hair everyday and it ends up in a messy bun at least three times a week. Sometimes I feel lucky to be able to take a shower, and sometimes that isn’t even a priority. I’m sorry that brushing my teeth and putting on make-up is a major task these days. I’m sorry that I leave my clothes all over the closet floor because it’s hard for me to bend over and clean them up. And that sometimes I never change out of my pajamas the entire time you are at work.
I’M SORRY I complain about my pregnancy ailments like my swollen feet and my aches and pains. I’m sorry I grunt and growl and ask you to do various tasks for me so I can rest on the couch. I’m so grateful to be pregnant and have the opportunity to grow a human life that we created even when I seem ungrateful at times because I’m so worn out and tired.
I’M SORRY that I have been craving spicy food this entire pregnancy. I’m sorry you have to tolerate my red onion and jalapeno kisses because this is what makes your unborn son and his mommy happy. I’m sorry I buy random food at the store that ends up spoiling because I impulsively bought it in the moment because of a passing pregnancy craving. I’m sorry I don’t ask you what you want for dinner because I plan our meals around what my body is craving in the moment.
But THANK YOU for going into your drawers and picking out a pair of sweats and a t-shirt for me because it is the only clothing that fits me these days. Thank you for not making any comments about the clothing deposits I have left around the room and simply picking them up for me and putting them in the hamper. Thank you for sorting away the laundry and not complaining since I know it’s your least favorite chore around the house.
THANK YOU for telling me I look beautiful even though I feel like a Beluga Whale most days (for their size not their worth or beauty). Thank you for your endless compliments and making me feel like I’m the best wife and mother in the world on days that I can barely function, get out of bed, or get anything done.
THANK YOU for being patient when I have hormonal mood swings. Thank you for just giving me space when I need it and offering hugs when I need them but don’t ask for them. Thank you for waiting until you get home from work for your first kiss of the day because I was still sleeping before you left.
THANK YOU for being forgiving when I fall asleep before the opening credits end of the movie we are watching during our rare date nights at home. I always appreciate when I am up in the middle of the night that you somehow know and wake up and come to check on me and ask me if I am ok and ask me if I need anything.
THANK YOU for surprising me by getting up while I am still asleep with either breakfast in bed or having the dishes done for me when I come downstairs in the morning once I finally wake up.
THANK YOU for providing me the opportunity to work from home so I can be a mom full-time and grow my dream of my own business. Because of you, I am able to take our daughter to dance class, experience play dates with her, teach her pre-school, and share in all of her toddler moments. Being able to stay home with her and soon to be our baby boy is priceless and I appreciate that part of my life more than anything else in this world.
Pregnancy and motherhood isn’t easy. Marriage isn’t easy. But we make it work because of endless effort, intentionality, love, patience, understanding, forgiveness, and grace. Luckily, I redeem myself in that there is always a warm meal waiting for you when you get home each night and I never forget to say “I love you” before we hang up the phone. We have created two lives together and we are a family and we never stop trying and at the end of the day that is what matters the most.
I love you,